Bands That Take The Biscuit

Small men on biscuits
Bands that take the biscuit: music acts that sound like they should be on a plate, not coming through your headphones.
Photo: Stevie Spiers

Prompted by the formation of “McBusted”, a so-called supergroup combo of Busted and McFly, I’ve had my brain ticking over to come up with a comprehensive list of music groups that sound like they’re in the wrong genre and could easily be ordered at a restaurant or bought in a shop.

1) McBusted – Amongst the huge Twitter hype over what I thought was a new burger joining the already plethoric range available at McDonalds, I decided to order one with fries and a Coca Cola. It was at the point of refusal and subsequent reasoning that I discovered what “McBusted” actually was. Still, it doesn’t stop the band sounding like McDonalds have embraced the discovery of horse meat in their burger.

2) Red Hot Chili Peppers – Pretty much self-explanatory. No doubt that the link to food was intended by Kiedis and co.

3) Black Eyed Peas – It sounds like a lame attempt by Birds Eye to try to get children ‘into veg’ by making their peas into characters. And, of course, the health and wellbeing of the children and not their ability to put pressure on their parents to buy the stuff would be behind such a product. Wouldn’t it Birds Eye?

4) Aerosmith – They are included because I don’t want to miss a thing. There is a tenuous link to the chocolatey bubble bar that is Nestle’s Aero.

5) Alphabeat – Alphabeat Spaghetti? A poor pun, I know!

6) Aqua – Their most famous song is “Barbie Girl” but they do sound like a bottled water brand that never was.

7) Caesars – Caesar Salad. What more can I say?

8) Eels – This would be a more exotic food item but they are available if you look in the right places.

9) Hall & Oates/Muse – Sounds like brands of muesli

10) The Jam – A supermarket own-brand of, you guessed it, jam!

11) Wheatus – A rival to Weetabix, selling dry tasteless slabs of crop.

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